Snow

The struggle to actually do something in your life. To beat back the futility. To define your own purpose and significance. 

To derive pleasure from action.

&&&&&&&&&

Remember. The freedom you had. Remember, the ones who were with you. Remember remember. The faith and power you had. That you would take action. That everything would be fine.

So many times I ask myself whether I should do it; it’s such a waste of money. But all things factored in, it’s these things that count in life. Where else should your money go? I’m going to do it. I think I’ll do it alone once again, because I fear the presence of people in such circumstances. No, I rather face it on my own terms and not have to care about other people.

The closer I draw towards my release from military service, the more down and irritable I get. How curious. I just want release from this torture of having to do the same old things over and over again. The mundane repetition of mounting and externals have got me going crazy. I would like nothing better than to just sleep myself away.

Kawaii.

just-her-daeehnaiiee:

what’s with the commotion about diablo! So what If it’s an update since the past 10years! Can’t believe people of my age still going over it.

Grow up.

You’re talking about a game which comprised a large portion of their childhood entertainment. It has returned a full decade later. You are a girl. You do not play Diablo 3. You will not understand it, and you probably cannot. To play a video game is to immerse yourself in another world. Some people find it in books. But why read a book when you can be the main character yourself?

Is there some difference in maturity between someone who reads a book and someone who plays a video game? No, there is no difference. The point about maturity only comes in if the person plays the game so much that he neglects other responsibilities. So do not be so presumptuous as to label people who play games as immature.

After I got a BB my posts here on the blog are pretty bad. Most of my thoughts go into my phone since I just type it down when it bubbles to the surface, leaving nothing for my blog. Anyway, here’s one from my phone:

7 Social Sins

1. wealth without work
2. pleasure without conscience
3. knowledge without character
4. commerce without morality
5. science without humanity
6. politics without principle
7. worship without sacrifice

The cutest Stark of all!

I’m glad that she means so much to you, because she means a whole lot to me as well. Perhaps you are not affected by her marriage, but I am. Teenagers who play at sappy love stories, they don’t know anything. But I am glad we both wear the gauntlet, albeit the differences in appearance.

Ben looks like a girl, and Arya looks like a boy. Arya is cute now.

There is a danger with exalting you as the best, simply because it blinds me to the possibility that there are others who are. This warning I shall heed, and you are the only acceptable standard now. Why live in fear?

Self-note:

• blue breath
• crystal
• lapis lazuli
• onyx
• hematite

What I’ve obtained today, opens up the door to so many places. And nearly infinite opportunities to be there. I’ll be ready.

Edit: I’m jealous of others because of their achievements. But I think they should be jealous of me because of my heart.

Edit edit: I want to say something I said a month or two ago. I need to say it again. I need to say I’m sorry, because I can’t live without it.

“If there’s any logic in an apology, here’s one: I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I wasn’t the best I could be, constantly preparing myself for a person like you. I’m sorry I had so much extra baggage, weights and chains holding me back. I’m sorry I wasn’t ready to fly away with you immediately. I’m sorry for not being open minded. I’m sorry for being weak. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough to play in the big ocean. I’m sorry for taking so long. I’m sorry for not being by your side right now. I’m sorry that I had the value system of my society and the priorities of a fool. I’m sorry that you were crying alone, when I could have been wiping your tears away. I’m sorry for not being there. You have been one of the strongest influences in my life, and I’m sorry that I can’t say the same for you.

I love you so much.”